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Late Night Thoughts

By the time this posts, it'll be my birthday.

I just got home from acting class. I'm always pumped from the extrovert-time, and it's impossible for me to fall asleep when I get home, even though it's late. Zane's always asleep, and I want to tell him all about class, but I can't. He has to get up really early.

He's sleeping now. Tomorrow he leaves at 6:00am. I'll get a goodbye birthday kiss, hopefully.

My sister moves to China this week. Do you know how far away China is from Florida? Half an earth away.

I'm turning 20-something old. I know all you old people (no offense) are saying that 20-something old is not really that old, but I think I'm finally to that point where the next age is less like a trophey and more like a dentist appointment reminder postcard.

Except that I still want to be celebrated, and the dentist isn't really celebratory.

Tonight I did a high-comedy scene. I had gotten comfortable with the filmic stuff, where I just show up and act myself. High comedy is not acting myself. It's hard for me. I didn't get it right off the bat. 

Next week I'm doing another comedic scene...from Clerks 2. I haven't seen it.

Next week we're hosting a Japanese student. Actually, for most of March. I'm going to buy frozen food, because cooking's not my favorite.

Last time we hosted a Japanese student, I cooked everything from scratch and then I scratched my eyes out.

My eyes are starting to itch. Pollen is on the hood of my car. I've been contemplating what kind of defense I'll use this year against allergies. Local honey was a bomb. Allegra-D is too intense. Generic over-the-counter meds seem like the best option.

I need to get some lotion for my nose. It starts to peel from all the required nose-blowing of allergy season.

Still no casts or callbacks. I keep telling myself, "I just wasn't a match for the role." But I'm also telling myself that I've got issues with auditioning. I sit on impulses. I hold back.

I'm in the valley of discouragement.

We watched a teen English film called Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, where the lead girl said she was in the valley of [fill in the blank] many times. Humiliation, embarassment, etc.

The Fullsail students always comment on my lack of experience. It discourages me. Helloooooo, that's why I'm here!!!

I don't say that to them.

Today's my birthday. It's official. Happy Birthday to me.

I'm in the valley of celebration. Well, not really. Not yet. But hopefully I will be soon. I'm going to breakfast with my mom and sisters (including the one going to China).

I'm a year older. I feel the same.

I'll go to bed now.

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