Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Mom of Two: Ten Months In

Ten months! It's hard to believe that the anniversary of my labor (a.k.a. Amy's birthday) is just around the corner. I'm having lots of memories from "this time last year" when I was hugely pregnant. For example, this week we took Rufio for his annual shots, and I remembered being incredibly uncomfortable in the August heat last year. It's so much nicer having the baby in the stroller than in my belly!

Amy's biggest milestone this month was taking her first steps. She can toddle short distances and gets very excited while she's doing it. If she needs to go from room to room, she was choosing to crawl, but just today, she started tentatively toddling across a large room.

Her top four teeth came through different days in the same week, which could explain a lot of sleepless nights we had this month. She learned to eat from a pouch, which is very convenient for me! She also started drinking from a transitional sippy cup.

She has started mimicking behavior, like dancing and clapping. She also dances on her own to music, which has pumped up family dance parties even more.

This month, Amy dropped two breast feedings in two weeks. I was kind of glad it happened, because Zane and I are going out of town without the kids in September, so I wanted to drop down to two or three feedings by then (we were doing five a day). I didn't expect her to drop them that fast. I think my hormones got a little out of whack from it, because I had a good two weeks of anxiety and depression for no apparent reason afterward. I'm not even sure if I'm feeling back to normal yet.

My main symptom of life these days is tiredness. Amy has been sleeping well at night this week, but last week she was not. The last couple days, both girls have been sleeping late in the morning (7:00am), which has been wonderful. I'm hoping that lasts! 

Amy is on the go and exploring! We're continually baby-proofing with each new level of development.

As for being a mom of two ten months in, I realized this month that I feel more stress, anxiety, and negative self-image when I'm looking at myself, measuring my "mom-ness," or worrying about getting my to-do list done. I feel more joy, peace, and appreciation for life when I'm looking at my kids and experiencing the moment. I still working on the latter.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Zane Graduated, and I Made a Video

Zane graduated from nursing school this past weekend. Three years of our lives revolved around this one goal, and this weekend he ran across the finish line. Here's a little video I compiled of the events:

The last month was crazy as we got closer to the end. I felt like I didn't see him very much, even though I was seeing him more than I had last Fall when we had the baby.

Then he was done, and I was seeing him a lot. He didn't take a break. He just went from 75% student/ 25% family (exaggerated) to 100% family. He immediately jumped into "give Deb a break" mode. He let me sleep in multiple times in a week and even took the kids away for several hours in a day so that I could relax, read, sew, whatever. He still does all the grocery shopping and dog-walking.

I felt like I was the one who graduated and was getting a reward pampering! This man is so sacrificial!

After Saturday's graduation festivities (shown in the video above), I fell into somewhat of a funk. Sunday was hard. I was listless. This was partly because Amy kept me up a lot teething the night before and partly because I was anxiously wondering, "Now what?" My dreams and aspirations that I've been putting on hold for the last few years still seem far out of reach.

Zane gave me another day-long break on Monday to work on Etsy sewing, but I ended up using the time to make that graduation video. I needed to stop and mark the journey that we just came through.

My tendency is to get onto the next thing, but our next thing isn't happening for a while. Zane was offered a job (Hallelujah!) in Tampa, and our rent is too amazingly low to give up. If those reasons aren't enough, we also have a depleted savings account that needs to be replenished after 15 months of no income.

I was antsy, anxious, and fearful of getting stuck here forever.

As I worked on the video, I reflected on how God has always provided for us better than what/when I would have maybe chosen. His path is always the right time and the right place. Even all the details of us moving to Brandon point to God's perfect timing. I know that when He wants us to move along to the next thing, it will be clear. For now, I've got to keep on keepin' on (thanks, Joe Dirt!) and learn to love (thanks, Ciara!) where we are now.

"Here" isn't that bad, either. My social calendar is usually full, we have plenty of childcare, and we're less than a couple hours from basically anywhere we'd want to go.

So, yay! Zane's done with school! Come see us in Brandon, and we'll take you to Wow! That's Fresh!...because we eat there a lot.