We Didn't Start The Fire Parody

You guys know my love of song parodies. I've always got a few in the works. Sunday night was my first time performing an original parody in front of a live audience. It was for our church's annual variety show (which was a fantastic show all around, by the way).

Lydia and I wrote the lyrics in June before we went to NYC. I've been sitting on the song for a couple months, trying desperately to keep it a secret for the variety show.

Here's our group. Thanks, Sonja and Danny, for singing back-up with Zane!

"We're number 11!" 

Here's the video of us singing it at the variety show (thanks, Kelly, for recording this!).

In case you're completely confused by the lyrics, they're all references to people, events and things in the Bible. I tried to find the most obscure yet recognizable references possible. The only part I wanted to include but didn't was "David and the 1000 foreskins." It didn't fit with the rhythm, and I didn't want to offend any parents of little ones. But that would have been epic.

Here are the lyrics written out for your theological song parody enjoyment:

~

Acacia wood, gopher wood, Levites start the Priesthood
Jeremiah, Pharaoh, Jezebel, Abednego

Lot’s daughters, Lot’s wife, everyone in Lot’s life
Ten plagues, flooded globe, Joseph’s colored robe

Darius, Belshazar, King Nebuchadnezzar

Gabriel’s freakish news, Solomon has got the blues

Fiery furnace, leprosy, den of lions, storm at sea

Salt pillar, crucify, several ways that you can die

CHORUS

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

John’s head on a dish, Jonah’s swallowed by a fish

Goliath falls from a sling, lefty kills fat king

Youth eaten by a bear, Delilah cuts Samson’s hair

Stephen dies by stoning, forty years of wandering

Abram, Isaac, Ishmael, Jacob’s renamed Israel

Ananaias and Sapphira, David kills Uriah

Tent spike through head, Lazarus raised from dead

Boaz, Hezekiah, Herod, Barnabus, Benaiah

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

Noah’s Ark, David’s harp, Babel fail from the start

Gideon, 300 men, jars of clay help him win

Canaanite, Amalekite, Moabite, Ammonite, 

Paul gets a snake bite, Esau sells his birthright

Holy Ark of Covenant, creation of the firmament, 

Hosea weds prostitute, Bathsheba on a roof

Golden calf, Sarah’s laugh, Red Sea, dry path

Caleb offers daughter, Peter walks on water

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

Hannah, Dinah, Judah, Ninevah,

Rachel wins Jacob’s heart, lion’s jaw torn apart

Gideon’s wet fleece, Xerxes ditches Vashtii,

Ruth, Job, Jericho, Zacchaeus gives his dough

Swallowed up by a hole, bronze snake on a pole,

Quail, manna for the day, what else do I have to say!

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

Came to earth, virgin birth, precious gifts to show His worth 

Son of Man has no digs, lack of figs, demon pigs

Five loaves, two fish, wine at Cana is delish

Blind see, lame walk, sins forgiven, mute talk

Speaks through parables, overturns the tables,

Thirty silver to Judas, hand Him over with a kiss,

Jews deny, corruptly tried, nailed to cross, crucified

Died, buried, raised again, ascended into Heaven!

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning since the world's been turning.

We didn't start the fire

But when we are gone

It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it

We didn't start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world's been turning

We didn't start the fire

No we didn't light it

But we tried to fight it 

~

I'd like to send out a special thanks to Billy Joel for writing such an epic song for me to parody. You can find his original song and music video here.