Three new things in trimester two.
1. The most noticeable difference so far in this trimester is my appetite. I want to eat all the time! I eat about six times a day. I'm making healthy choices, but no matter what I choose, I'm usually hungry again within two hours.
2. Last week I started wearing maternity pants. My regular pants were starting to be painful on my belly, even with a rubber band extending the button, so I decided to make the switch.
3. I've had several emotional moments thinking of my baby growing up. Once I was driving and listening to Jimmy Eat World's "In the Middle," and I started crying thinking about my baby becoming an adult and how I'll say, "Everything will be just fine," during the struggles of life. I used to listen to that song in high school, and my baby will be in high school some day finding his/herself. "Just be yourself, it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else." Tearing up already.
Sharing joy versus flaunting prosperity.
I'm still determining the right balance between sharing the excitement of my pregnancy and rubbing it in people's faces. There are still several women in my circle waiting on babies, and I remember what it was like with pictures of ultrasounds and growing bellies on facebook. I want to be sensitive to that.
It was also encouraging to hear stories of pregnancy after infertility where women were completely joyful about their pregnancies. The worst thing for infertile women is pregnant women complaining about pregnancy. Well, I am joyful about this pregnancy. This is incredible, and I'm so grateful, and I'm enjoying it a lot. I didn't think I'd get to experience this, and yet I am. I'll never understand it.
All that to say, I decided to do two "Yay, I'm pregnant" things:
1. My first belly picture.
2. A baby pool. Just for fun. No pressure to participate, of course: www.bebepool.com/aabracadeborah
We'll find out the sex next month, Lord willing. I'm ready for either one. I'm pretty excited about finding out. I want to know so I can start to plan. I already have some nursery ideas in the works, including a sweet work of art to compliment a piece I made in high school. More on that later.
We can also nail down a name once we know which direction to take it. Naming a person is a lot harder than I thought it would be. "What's in a name?" Juliet says. A person's identity! John Proctor has a whole monologue about it, "It is my name! I'll never have another in my life!" Just a couple literary references. Points for the names of those plays, if you know them.
Pregnancy has been weird and fun and emotional. I'll never understand the Lord's timing in it, but I'm thankful to Him and I trust Him in it all.