Taming the Mane
Hair. It's one of those things where your place in society depends much upon factors like:
You don't have it
You have too much
You have it in the wrong places
It's not the right texture
It's not the right thickness
It's not the right color
Well, I've been battling my hair for my entire life, and I don't see an end in sight. Let's take a brief look over the past 24 years:
Birth-3 mo. - Thick dark hair that stuck straight up, despite my mother's efforts to comb it down.
3mo.-2 year- Thin blonde hair (probably the best hair days I've ever/will ever have).
3-6 - Wouldn't let my mom brush it. Perpetual rat's nest at nape of neck.
7-12 - "Page boy" cut to prevent rat's nests.
13 - Realized there were other styles out there. Tried growing bangs out.
14 - Cut bangs again, but grew length. Can't control bush-ness. Hope to figure it out in high school.
15 - Grew out bangs again. Now in high school. Introduced to flat iron. It's a miracle.
16-18 - Flat iron after every washing. Highlight with pull-through DIY kits. Still dealing with dryness/bush-ness. Male friend tells me my hair only looks good when it's straight. Devastating - straightening takes 40 minutes. Hope to figure it out in college.
19 - College. Feeling crazy. Dye hair orange and pink. Still bushy.
19 years 6 months - Feel crazier. Cut off 12 inches of length. Best friend shaves her head. Consider such an endeavor.
20 - Hair in constant state of shagginess. Have a nightmare that no boys like me because hair's short. Reject all thoughts of shaving head. Hope to figure it out soon...soon!
21-Present Day - Revert back to high school flat iron and wild bush-ness. Cannot control. Give up. Kind of.
And that's just my head hair! Let's not get into the battle against unwanted body hair...mainly because that would be a total gross-out to all readers everywhere.
Most people figure out how to have beautiful hair by the time they're my age, usually younger. I'm still working on that. I saw a 37-year old woman with shiny beautiful hair, and I thought to myself, "Maybe I'll figure it out by then." Yeah...so far that's worked really well.
You don't have it
You have too much
You have it in the wrong places
It's not the right texture
It's not the right thickness
It's not the right color
Well, I've been battling my hair for my entire life, and I don't see an end in sight. Let's take a brief look over the past 24 years:
Birth-3 mo. - Thick dark hair that stuck straight up, despite my mother's efforts to comb it down.
3mo.-2 year- Thin blonde hair (probably the best hair days I've ever/will ever have).
3-6 - Wouldn't let my mom brush it. Perpetual rat's nest at nape of neck.
7-12 - "Page boy" cut to prevent rat's nests.
13 - Realized there were other styles out there. Tried growing bangs out.
14 - Cut bangs again, but grew length. Can't control bush-ness. Hope to figure it out in high school.
15 - Grew out bangs again. Now in high school. Introduced to flat iron. It's a miracle.
16-18 - Flat iron after every washing. Highlight with pull-through DIY kits. Still dealing with dryness/bush-ness. Male friend tells me my hair only looks good when it's straight. Devastating - straightening takes 40 minutes. Hope to figure it out in college.
19 - College. Feeling crazy. Dye hair orange and pink. Still bushy.
19 years 6 months - Feel crazier. Cut off 12 inches of length. Best friend shaves her head. Consider such an endeavor.
20 - Hair in constant state of shagginess. Have a nightmare that no boys like me because hair's short. Reject all thoughts of shaving head. Hope to figure it out soon...soon!
21-Present Day - Revert back to high school flat iron and wild bush-ness. Cannot control. Give up. Kind of.
And that's just my head hair! Let's not get into the battle against unwanted body hair...mainly because that would be a total gross-out to all readers everywhere.
Most people figure out how to have beautiful hair by the time they're my age, usually younger. I'm still working on that. I saw a 37-year old woman with shiny beautiful hair, and I thought to myself, "Maybe I'll figure it out by then." Yeah...so far that's worked really well.
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