Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thankfulness in 2013

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! As the day comes to a close, I thought I'd share what I'm thankful for this year. 

I waited for what seemed like too long for this little girl. During the wait, I worked part-time, while Zane filled the role of main breadwinner for the family. Miracle of miracles: I got pregnant! Then, right after our sweet daughter was born, we decided Zane would go back to school to change careers. In January, I went back to work to be our insurance holder and main breadwinner. 

Since going back to work, this year has been downright exhausting. I've juggled wifehood, motherhood, working, Etsy shop, and whatever other roles I've probably dropped along the way. 

In many ways, it seems like our season of infertility would have been a better time for Zane to go back to school. No child to say goodbye to in the morning. No great parenting ideas to give up on because it just isn't going to work with four different caregivers. Plenty of alone time. Financial savings. Full-night's sleep. Every other reason people don't have kids. 

But it's actually emotionally easier for me to work having Daisy in my life. 

Working and momming is not an easy combination (when you'd like to be home instead), but I can only imagine how much more bleak the situation would be if I was still struggling with infertility. It would mean working a day job for the sole sake of putting my husband through school to fulfill his dreams when mine would possibly never be realized. I'm selfish like that. Maybe I could have done it, but it would have been grueling. 

Daisy's existence fulfills my desire to be a mother. I'm not aching for that anymore. Supporting our family is a cake walk compared to longing for a child.  

What's more, I am more thankful for my job than ever. I'm thankful for their pro-family culture, my coworkers who are also friends, my flexible schedule, great benefits, and the positive environment that I spend so much time in. 

I'm also thankful I can come home to this sweetie. 

Our situation isn't ideal. I never planned to go back to day-job work after having a child, but working is easier because of her.

Two years ago, I was thankful for my pregnancy.
This year I'm thankful for God's timing and providence through what could have been a more emotionally difficult time.
Hopefully, two years from now I'll be thankful for Zane's completion of nursing school.

What are you guys thankful for this year?

P.S. I'm not a freeloader. When I say "working", I mean working a day job, and not a creative job that most surely doesn't include insurance benefits, which is what I'll probably do someday.
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