Wednesday, September 7, 2011

One Girl, Two Worlds

I've mostly lived a sheltered life. I grew up in a Christian home and went to a Christian school. I went to a public university, but managed to make mostly Christian friends. Then I graduated and started working at a Christian organization, maintaining Christian friends along the way. None of that is bad. It's awesome. My knowledge and relationship with God have grown out of that. How else would I have written this crazy Bible trivia song

However, the acting industry is starkly different than Christian bubble world. 

AND I love it. And I love the people I have met through it. And I've felt deeply loved by them too. But sometimes it can be pretty strange for me. I can feel extremely straight-laced with industry people... 

...But sometimes I feel weird with Christians too, like I'm breaking social mores by being an actor. The top question I get from Christians is whether or not I would kiss another actor. Would I do a nude scene? (Okay, not a lot of people dare to ask that. The answer is no nudity). But I feel like the question is: how far will I push the envelope? 

Then I'm back in an acting scenario and spiritual topics come up. I'm faced with the awkwardness of talking about my faith without sounding like a psycho. I so badly want to say, "I really felt like God told me..." but that sounds ridiculous. Instead I find myself saying, "I followed my heart..." 

The answer is easy, right?: seek to please God, not man. 

I read a blog recently about feeling like a religious misfit. The context is different, but the concept is the same. I'll never fit in while I'm here on earth. Psalm 39:12 "I dwell with you as a foreigner, a stranger..."

As long as I want to be an actor, I'll feel weird among Christians - like I have to live a certain way to please people with expectations. As long as I'm a Christian, I'll feel weird in the industry - like I'm afraid the moment I say "Christian" I'll be put in a box of prejudices. 

I'm one girl, living in two VERY different worlds. 
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