When I was a kid I used to dream (and have actual sleep-dreams about) being an actress. I wanted to be on Barney and Nickelodeon, which was right at my fingertips in Orlando, but I didn't realize it then.
I also dreamed about being a mom.
The way I see it, these dreams can be categorized like so:
1. Ridiculous dreams that probably won't happen.
2. Rational dreams that happen all the time.
Which of those categories seem more precious? The rare dream or the common dream?
Babies are precious. They're also everywhere (My facebook is evidence. Friends with tons of babies and fetuses? Me too). I'm not saying they aren't precious. If anyone believes babies are a rare and special gift, it's me! Though maybe not so rare.
It hit me that maybe God is gifting me with a special purpose. Maybe He's leading me to accomplish a dream that He placed in me when I was a kid, a dream that is relatively rare to achieve.
I've speculated about it a lot. Maybe God has prevented me from pregnancy to push me in this direction. In actuality, I believe His reasons have more to do with my relationship with Him than the external circumstances of my life. It's a big picture, though.
It seems that right now, I've been forced to take the road less travelled. I have no doubt that it'll make all the difference.