My Etsy Shop - Instagram

Coveteous Confessions

Zane and I were discussing with some friends the reasons why Europe's birthrate is down. The United States' is down too for whites. My grandchildren's world will be very different-looking than mine, but it doesn't matter too much to me if white people die out, because that's a tangent from my original point.

Why are people 1) waiting so long to reproduce if 2) they reproduce at all, and if they do reproduce, 3) why do they only have one or two kids?

Our hypotheses all ended up in one category: selfishness.

Our young generation doesn't want to give up their lives to have children. We're focused on careers, pleasure and avoiding our parents' mistakes. We want to do something noteworthy with our lives, and children aren't exactly noteworthy enough. Once they come along, it's all about them.

Why do we have such a need to be noteworthy?

I think it's our over-interconnectivity. I made that word up, but it works for what I mean. We're too connected with too many people. We can follow celebrities' tweets, keep up with our oldest and newest friends on Facebook, and basically keep our eyes focused on other people's lives more than our own lives. I watch the Olympics and wish I was an athlete. I watch the Oscars and wish I was an actress. I look at people's FB pictures and wish I could travel where they travel. I usually realize I need something by seeing someone else with it.

Dude, either it's just me, or we live in a very coveteous society!

Would I still want all these things if I didn't know other people had them?
Would I be more content with my life if I only connected with people organically?
Would I be less likely to put off reproduction if I wasn't aware of the myriad of possible things I could do with my life that I couldn't do if I had a kid[s]?

It's just a thought.

P.S. I still want to do everything and have kids. Can I have my cake and eat it while I'm writing, acting, traveling, child-rearing, and being the perfect wife? That's rhetorical.

Comments

Mrs. T. said…
Sometimes you can't have the whole cake, but a slice here and there works in all the seasons of life. :)
Jonelle said…
Just found your blog thanks to Facebook :) You put my thoughts into words exactly with this post. You two are going to make wonderful parents. Looking forward to reading future posts, Deborah!
Becka said…
On the flip side, some say it's selfish to have children before one is emotionally, relationally, and most importantly, financially ready. To not achieve personal goals, to not spend time traveling and experiencing other cultures, to not set a firm foundation is not selfless, it's immature. I think most 20-30 somethings understand that they don't have to have children right away out of some sort of mid-century domestic dogma anymore.

*Disclaimer: I want to have kids before I'm 30, but I understand the feelings of those who do not, and those feelings are anything but selfish... and my career affords me a much more flexible lifestyle than most people my age. If it did not, I would probably want to wait longer to have children.

Popular Posts